It’s about time for a good old opinion post that’s sure to ruffle some feathers. In this post I’m going to give you my top 5 most overrated attractions at Walt Disney World. I’m not going for the low hanging fruit either, this list certainly includes attractions that are on other people’s top 5 list. These are attractions that we either generally skip because it’s not worth the effort or ride only if it’s exceedingly convenient.
5. Seven Dwarves Mine Train
Might as well start off with a bang, right? Let me preface this by saying that I love this ride. I think it’s an incredibly fun little coaster with some good ambiance and Disney story telling. So why is it here? Because it’s objectively overrated when you consider it’s spot on most guests priority lists.
Seven Dwarves Mine Train seems to be everyone’s priority when visiting Magic Kingdom and because of that the lines start off long and stay long throughout the day. If you don’t want to pay the added cost required to secure an Individual Lightning Lane, you have no choice but to throw yourselves at the mercy of the stand-by gods. That means everyone runs here at rope drop and it’s not uncommon for this to have a 90 minute wait 10 minutes into park open.
The ride is also prone to breakdowns. It’s a simple ride without too many moving parts, but for some reason is routinely experiences downtime. One of the easiest ways to ruin a day at the Magic Kingdom is to rope drop Seven Dwarves only to have it breakdown while you’re in queue. Then you play the no win game of stay in line for an indeterminate amount of time or get out of line and watch the line start moving right away.
This ride is overrated not because it’s bad, but because it’s so popular it almost has to be overrated. Skipping this ride (or sucking it up and getting an ILL) opens up so many opportunities for more efficient touring around the Magic Kingdom. For example, if you rope drop Space Mountain instead of this you can probably get 2 rides in before you’re off Seven Dwarves with less opportunity for a breakdown which is catastrophic for touring plans.
4. Rockin’ Roller Coaster
Alright. This one may be the biggest stretch on the list. The coaster is fun, the waits generally aren’t too bad, especially compared to Slinky Dog Dash, so why is it here? Simple. Aerosmith. No one cares at all, even a little, about Aerosmith anymore. Why Disney hasn’t replaced them with another band (Foo Fighters anyone) is beyond the pale.
Look, I’m a child of the 80’s and 90’s. Aerosmith was a mainstay on MTV when I was growing up. I know who they are, I know they were once very cool. I get it. But I also lived through the complete downfall of their relevance. To top it off, Steven Tyler – the lead singer of Aerosmith for the most of you that wouldn’t know that – has had only negative press in recent memory. The time has come to scrub mention of these tangentially relevant has-been’s from this ride. If Disney would do that, you don’t even have to add any other band, this ride would be worth the effort needed to ride it. Until then, we’ll ride it only there is nothing else to do.
As a testament to the fact that the coaster itself is actually pretty fun, the lines at Rockin’ Roller Coaster are still long. Gone are the days of this being the highest wait in the park, but it is still often an hour or more. That’s too long to wait for this one and it’s continued popularity means it’s overrated in my book.
3. Buzz Lightyear
Of all the rides on the list, this is the one that I find to be just an objectively poor attraction. If you’ve never experienced this attraction the idea is to hit targets using a laser gun mounted on the front of the ride vehicle as you move through the attraction. Pretty simple right? Shooting lasers is cool right? So what’s the problem? Well here’s the kicker, there is no way to aim and very little feedback you can use to know where you’re actually shooting. You can sometimes see a red dot illuminating in the general direction you’re aiming. But then you get the play the who’s dot is it anyway game. Is it yours or your rides mates or the car in front of you trying to hit the same target? There is no way to know for sure.
So without a reliable aiming mechanism you’re left with an attraction that fails to execute on the very thing that the attraction is centered around. At first I thought I was just doing something wrong. But after riding it again and again I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not me it’s them. The attraction is just not very good.
The other thing working against it is that it is in a prominent location in Tomorrowland and it kind of draws guests to it naturally. You walk by it on your way in and out of the land from the main hub and when people see a line they want to get in it. On my most recent trips the wait has been around 30 minutes fairly regularly. That’s much too long for this caliber of ride. I much prefer the nearby Peoplemover or Carousel of Progress over this one anyday.
2. Test Track
I know this one is going to raise some eyebrows, garner some quiet muttering, and perhaps even outright outrage. So be it, it has to be said. Test Track is overrated. It’s a fun enough ride, but the promise of something greater hangs over the ride and ultimately leaves me feeling disappointed.
First, the attraction kinds of lends itself to being compared to Radiator Springs Racers in Disneyland and it stacks up terribly against that attraction. Radiator Springs beats Test Track by all measures – story, set, overall ambiance as well as the sheer “funness” of the ride itself. By any measure, Test Track is an inferior outdoor-indoor-ride-based thrill ride among Disney peers.
Second, Test Track itself kinds of sets up for disappointment through the whole design your car part of the attraction. Some may argue that this isn’t really part of the attraction, but I don’t buy it. Disney has now merged the idea of queue and attraction to the point that we’ve been trained to look at the queue as part of the experience. The queue of Test Track tells you that you’re going to design a vehicle and implies that the choices you make her matter – except they don’t. I knew that going into my first ride on Test Track and was still disappointed. I know it can’t be a perfect 1-1 transfer of a single parties design choices into the outcome of a multi-party ride experience, but that’s not an excuse to give up on trying. Either come up with a different interactive element to the queue or figure out a way to make it transfer to the ride experience.
When the two detractions above are weighted against the generally long waits this attraction falls flat for me and is severely overrated. I have to admit I haven’t ridden Test Track in my last 3 trips and I don’t feel like I’ve missed a thing. I have however ridden Radiator Springs Racers within that timeframe which probably makes Test Track an easier skip.
Note: Disney just announced that Test Track would be closing for a ride reimagining starting in Summer 2024. This could easily change this ranking completely. Let’s see what imagineering has up their sleeve!
1. Jungle Cruise
Screeeech. Record stop. WHAT? JUNGLE CRUISE?
I get it. I’m probably going to lose a lot of people with this one. It’s a classic. It’s captured the hearts and imaginations of so many for so long. How can you even rate that let alone have the audacity to call it overrated? I know, I know, but hear me out.
Jungle Cruise has a few things working against it in my book. First, the actual experience is entirely dependent on the skipper that guides you through the adventure and the by extension the other guests on your boat. By and large the skippers are fantastic at what they do. That said, everyone has a bad day and if the skipper isn’t in it 100% the attraction suffers greatly. Similarly, if the other guests aren’t into the schtick then it can get kind of awkward. If you hit the exacta of uninspired skipper, unenthused guests, then it’s almost unbearable.
The other thing working against Jungle Cruise is that it remains very popular, almost too popular. It is routinely the lightning lane that goes fastest after Peter Pan – yes faster even than Space Mountain. That means that waits get high and stay high throughout the day as lightning lane guests get priority boarding, reducing capacity for stand by guests. That also means you really have to build your touring around this attraction if you intend to use lightning lane and want to avoid crisscrossing the park unnecessarily – as one should. This has led to us skipping this ride on our last two trips to Walt Disney World and we did not feel like we were missing out at all.
Ultimately, attraction rankings come down to opinion and our most overrated are likely someone else’s top 5. I actually think that is a necessary requirement for an attraction to be included on an overrated list – others have to love them. The takeaway here is to be honest with yourself about what your overrated attractions are and use that when formulating your touring plans. Tell most people that you skipped Jungle Cruise and they’re going to look at you like you have two heads. Those same people waited in line for 75 minutes or made it their first lightning lane selection while you ignored it completely! That’s a big win for your touring strategy so make sure you’re using it to your advantage.
What are your personal overrated attractions? Tell me what they are and why in the comments!
